the simplest adjustments have the biggest impact

22 years of my life were dedicated to gymnastics, as both coach and athlete. I slept, ate, and breathed gymnastics, and to this day, I miss the way that it felt to flip, fly, and swing. I could say that it was my first love, but that doesn't feel true. It wasn't something that I fell in love with, it wasn't something outside of me or something to do, it was me.

Me on the balance beam at 16.

To the casual observer, gymnastics looks complex. We flip, fly, twist, land, bounce, leap, swing... It all happens so fast that you can't really see what's going on. It might as well be magic.

But really, it's simple: One thing added to another, added to another. You learn a backflip. Then you add in a half twist. Then another half twist. You learn a double-back flip, then you add in the twist that you’ve already learned, and pretty soon you're doing a full-twisting-double-back. It takes hard work, practice, dedication, and devotion, but when you break it down, it's simple. You're repeating a series of basic movements over and over again in different combinations.

As a coach, I learned how to break complex skills down into their basic movements so that my athletes could learn and accomplish new things. And the biggest thing I learned was this: The smallest adjustments had the biggest impact. The simplest feedback led to the most significant results.

It's this thinking that I bring into what I teach about sex. The simplest adjustments have the biggest impact. Learn anatomy and some basic ways to touch, and then bring small adjustments into your sex life with your partner. Slow down. Speed up. Add more pressure. Touch lighter. Sit up rather than lie down. Dance first. There are infinite options here.

You don't have to be Casanova, throwing your cape around, making extravagant movements with a flourish. Just move a little to the left, and see what happens. It's easy to get overwhelmed here and give up. Take baby steps. The best gymnasts in the world don’t learn a full-twisting-double-back in one day. They don’t even learn it in a year! It’s a years-long process that takes dedication and practice. 

It also takes support. Which you can find here.